Looking For Gold | the nature of the visit

some things cant be told unless they have been experienced, yet thoughts cant be withhold if they need to be expressed

There must have been something that I just couldn’t understand about the nature of the visit. Bare naked hearts flaunting everywhere…some goodness, some distress, something wanted badly and not given, some things for free but unwanted.
To the nature of the visit, I cannot recall my feelings, I was happy and scared…it was intense and quick, it lasted for hours yet didn’t unleash what’ s inside, bodies collide feelings scattered, hearts broken…fears unrevealed and yet so close to the surface of the visit.
I wanted so badly to let go and have no expectations, but as they say no expectations no disappointments and it’s like I needed to be disappointed, I needed something to move me, something to tell me whether there is something out there I can crave for other than that which is handed on a sliver plate yet has no odour no taste and friction what so ever.
I miss the smell that made my body stiff from the fear of wanting more, whatever happened to that space inside of us that once made us scary from the intensity of our closeness. Whatever happened to the unity and vacuum in the world where nothing existed but within the visit?
Should there be another visitor, or should the host be changed? Is it the world or the partners…should love expression be this hard, what have become of us…