Looking For Gold | the ending of silence

Post edited 12:05 pm – December 17, 2009 by i.dare.dream

Even before i can tell myself to let the silence live on
My life whispers to me and i answer as i walk its long road
A road filled with as many turns than i care to remember
 
Symbolising
A change
A choice
A consequence
 
Maybe remembering was the key to finding a bitter sweet ending 
And now finally so close to the end i feel nothing but regret and teardrops.

The whispering is gentle at first nothing but a brush of wind on my ears  
Then the questions start….
Sending my very soul into a spiral of confusion
Which colours my heart different shades of ebony

Why did he say the moon is ruby red?
 
Because he smiled at it and sang to it each night for a hundred dead nights. He had the will to make the impossible ever so possible…….
Or maybe its simply because he had the courage to believe in miracles.

[I just sat on the window ledge wondering why the moonlight wouldn't just vanish and let the darkness be alone]
 
……..My courage died before it even got the scent of life.
 
 

Why did love make you feel like you had a honey coated heart?
 
Because he kissed it a million more times than i'll ever be bothered to count or more sensibly his lips never left my heart but my heart grew numb to the sweetness of his touch
[I always wondered what that sickly sweet feeling was in my chest that felt like a thousand lost butterflies fluttering along to a silent song..i guess i never realise what feelings i have until i lose them forever]
 
………My butterflies have flown away, its no suprise i feel so empty and hollow. 
 

Why did you break your promise of forever?

Because i thought i'd found something more true than love itself:

It Made white doves turn golden 

My heart turn away from the sunlight

Him turn towards the stars out of my reach

[I admired the way he carried the world on his shoulders and no matter how bad a storm got he never changed direction he never turned from left to right from right to left and more importantly he never went in reverse he kept a straight mind a clear heart always]

………A promise of forever turned into a bag of lies mixed with betrayal.

Why did he ask you to fill a bottle  labelled laughter and told you " I Want to keep  a gas named 'happiness' with me always " 

To him the simplest things meant his survival I guess I should have realised i was the reason his heart beat 60 times a minute I think he saw in my eyes the shadow of the future and tried to save his sanity before he even lost it.

……I found the bottle on top of a mountain called diamond dreams it made me laugh and cry to think you stood on the very same soil I then stood.

Why for the last 80 years have you ventured to that hill just before the clock hits midnight?

Because On that diamond coloured hill he stands with an unwavering beauty it radiates with a strength giving my heart the will to beat his life began and ended on the diamond hill the sad thing is he is the angel of beauty and the angel of my life who never ever felt he was an angel of any kind

…..I should have realised he’d end on that mountain then maybe I would have spotted the signs to say goodbye aND what my heart had always truly felt

So this is why you’re here tonight with a sparkle in your tear stained eyes?

Yes and here is what is going to happen in 1.42 seconds:

The wind blows gently as I stand in the moonlight as I do every night gazing into his emerald coated eyes he smiles right at me I realise I can touch the golden stars I’m flying towards the core meaning of joy it takes over every single particle of my being.

……don't worry i know its a mere illusion.