He was still running as fast as he can….he hears his heart beats that are so loud that he can't even hear his own breath..
"they are coming after me. I must be faster"….but this is the fastest he can go…he begin thinking " I must find a shelter, I must hide"….
It is very dark..he hardly can see his own hand…now he is hearing them approaching..
"Oh no , I can't stand that…"
then out of nowhere he saw it…a very little light coming out of a dusty lamp around a corner..quickly he ran to that corner…and to his astonishment he found a door…an old rusty door that seems to have not been used for ages..
"Should I open that door? what the hell could I find behind it?"…they are coming…the sound of their metal weapons is very clear….and their voices…that dreadful voice of pain is becoming very loud…
"I don't have any other choice" then he begins trying to open the door….it is very old…really rusty…he is using all of his power…the voices are approaching…he still can't open the door….he is knocking and screaming….voices getting louder…He took a step back then with all his power..his power of fear…his power of anger…his power of depression…he jumps into the door and slams it open….
Now He is into a dark space..only a small light from the lamp outside is into that space…Suddenly the door closes ….Darkness encloses everything…
he begins remembering everything…remembering everyone of those who are running after him…remembering how long he was running….and the more he runs the more those who are running after him…he remembers how he always thought that running will stop them from chasing him…
a sound of hammering breaks that darkness….it is coming from a near place…yeah it is so clear now…someone is forging a metal….he begins using his hearing and tries to follow the sound…
he can see a very dim light…he begins following it as a man who finally found a straw in the mighty ocean to save him from death…the sound of the hammering is higher now…and he can hear other sounds
sound of welding…sound of sawing…he begins feeling that someone is making a very big thing…He sees an entrance on his right…but he pauses for a moment trying to comprehend these sounds he is hearing…these are sounds of a factory building machines…he is afraid now to look…"what if this is not a good place…I don’t like new places…" but then for a moment he feels that the sounds of his chasers are moving near…"oh I don’t have a choice"…he closes his eyes…and with one big jumb..he enters the room
"OH MY GOD"…he sees infront of him the biggest machine he has ever seen…It is not any machine…it is a …weapon……it is like a big monster with hundreds of guns….it is so long that his eyes can’t see its end…and guns are out of it at every spot…all kind of guns….tank guns…canon guns….other strange guns that he has never seen…..
And there on one side of that mammoth thing….is an old man….very tiny old man…who looks very miserable…he is so tiny and bendy that for the first instant you feel he has been in misery all his life….he was working on a piece of metal in front of him when our runner shouted….
Hearing his shout he stops and looks to the man….looks so strangely at him…then begins approaching…with that strange look in his eye…a look that contains a lot of different feelings…a feeling of hope but desperation…a feeling of love but hate….a feeling of anger but tenderness…
Finally he reaches our guy , looks deeply at his face as if he is analyzing every small detail in his face….he is analyzing his fear , his anger, his long waiting for rest….
"You are younger than you should be. I came here much older than you"
He begins raising his hand trying to touch the young man face. His old hand feels so strange on the runner’s face. He feels the wounds, the harshness, and the toughness of this hand after all these years of welding and cutting…
"Who are you? What are you doing in this strange place?" with taking the old man’s hand off his face gently…
"Who I am?….. Oh…what a question" he moves slowly back to the place he was working on…."I am someone who used to run…..exactly as you"…he stops and turns to face him…"I kept running and running…until my chasers became millions….I was afraid to stop to take a breath….I was afraid even to look at them….the more I run the more they become more savage…the more their sounds become scarier….."
"Yeah…"
Then suddenly he jumps to the spot which the young man stands at…grap his collars " and I had to find a way out….I had to stop for a rest…I had to find something"….gently he leaves his collars and begins to move back to his monster machine…
"Do you know what is this?"
"Oh…mm…not exactly…a large tank"
"IT IS A WEAPON" shouts the old man…." It is the ultimate weapon that will help me to face them….see…see how many guns…you know one gun of these can kill hundreds….this weapon will scare them away….they will know that they can’t defeat me now….they will not defeat me…they….will not" but the old man begins to cry….he cries remembering how much time he spent to run from his chasers….how much time he spent afraid in this small place trying to find a solution…how much time he spent to develop the weapon….the ultimate weapon to face his fear…
"But does facing them need this large weapon?"
"I always have been afraid to face them and I am not ready….I had to develop the ultimate weapon..Whenever I finished my plan and say I should face them now…my fear is more strong than my trust…and I develop again….I am…I am afraid to say….I am….defeated"
Then to the astonishment of the young man…the old man comes very near to him and grips his shoulders and shouts "Don’t make the same mistake…don’t think you can live away from them…they will haunt you…in your dreams….in your mind…they are yours…they are your problems…they are your curse…you have to face them….you have to fight them…..please don’t make my mistake"
"but I am scared….I am scared that I will lose"
"what do you have to lose more if you lost your life as I did….what do you lose more if you lost your happiness…what do you lose more if you lost yourself…."
"but you didn’t lose…you have made your weapon….you can go now to them and kill them all"
"I made a weapon to kill them…but didn’t make a weapon to kill my fear of them"
"Ok..if you can’t go to them…I will take it…I will take that weapon and go kill them and come get you back "
"NO….NO…." the old man walks towards his monster with both hands trying to cover it.. " Do you think if you used the weapon you will survive…? You will always be living behind it….always afraid that they will be stronger than your weapon…You will be always possessed by developing it… you will always try to tell whoever you love to come behind this weapon…you will be a curse on yourself and on those you love…." He begins to approach again to the young man…
"My son…. I lost everything that can make a man happy, when I stop believing I can fight back…Son, God created us with enormous powers…. But we are always afraid to fight our problems with what God gave us….we are always hiding behind our weapons…..our money…our arrogance…our social dignity….but if we just believed that God has gave us the power to fight whatever He decides we should face….then…then we will never live a moment of sadness or depression"
"you have learned all of that while you were here….ok… let me live with you let me learn from you so I can fight back"
"NO…NO…..if you didn’t fight now…they will grow in number….they will grow in strength….until you are more and more scared….."
" No I want to rest…I want to stay here…let me help you to develop this weapon….lets make it a bigger one so we can fight both your chasers and mine"
The old man runs suddenly towards his enormous machine…and begins to click some buttons….one of the guns begins to move and aims at the young man
"What…What are you doing?"
"I will kill you"
"wh…wh…why?"
"cause it is the same….if you decided to stay here…you will lose your life…why waiting lets do it now"
Now the gun is loading its ammo..
"ok..ok…no please please don’t kill me….what should I do?"
The gun ammo is into place…sound of heating goes on….
"you have to figure it out yourself"
"ok ok …I will go….I will go and face them…."
"you will go and fight them…..and kill them"
"ok but you have to come with me…you have to be by my side…."
"ok now you go I will be behind you"
The young man moves slowly out of the entrance taking the turn back to the dimming light…then he hears a heavy door going down and shutting down the entrance…
He goes back and knocks the door heavily
"hay…hay old man….please don’t leave me…come with me…guide me…I can’t face them alone"
"it is too late for me to get out of here…..I lost my fight young man……now think about it…..do you want to lose it like me"
Then suddenly a very high sound was heard…..like a bomb has been blown down….and a large ball of fire begins to move out of the door….the young man runs and runs and runs…..afraid from the large ball of fire that is chasing him through the place…..and then he comes out to the door he entered from….suddenly everything calms down…everything returns to the beginning..
He hears the sounds again….now he hears them more clearly than ever…now he is afraid more than ever…now he is confused more than ever…he begins to run…but he stops….he stops momentarily cause a thought hit his mind as if he was sleeping and just wake up…."why I am running from something that I know I will never escape? Will I be running all my life?….the old man said if you decided to escape then dying will make no difference at both situations you will lose your life….. God chose for my a life to live….He didn’t chose me a life to escape from…He will be with me..He will be with me"
Then once again…he decides to run….this time filled with strength…this time filled with hope…this time filled with love….this time he decided to run…but in the other direction…
"Sometimes our fear of facing our present …..is the reason for us to lose our future"
m.wahba
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