Looking For Gold | Thoughs on a monday night..

Ever wondered what that feeling of something missing, or something misplaced mean..? When you feel something's wrong and you just dont know what it is, or even worst, you dont even know if there reallly is something wrong, and if there was, how to fix it. You try to distract yourself by calling someone or going somewhere.. or doing something just to take that pinching feeling off your mind.. but deep down you know.. you cannot fool yourself.. the minutes pass by and back again you find yourself face to face with the very reason of your puzzling situation.

no matter how you tried to hide out the feeling, you cant hide away from yourself.. you feel insecure.. lost.. you just dont know whats ailing you.. where the real source of pain lurks.. you dont even know what you did, or why you are suffering out of something you dont know nothing about..

Why are you sad? How did you ever wind up here? Which turn along the road that you took wrong? Most of all, Why are you here, and where is the way out?

Lost in the wide space between you and yourself.. You look back, you revise every step, every decision, every thought you had.. every promising idea.. every hope.. and find out there is no one to blame, and nothing you can do that'll ever change what happened, or even what is still going to happen. you feel so helpless, so small.. insignificant.. you discover that what ever you do, no matter what it is, you are not in control.. you are not the one driving your own life.. its all going on by itself, weather you like it or not.. 

Take a closer look, think more, you'll even discover that as hard as you tried, as much as you desired this or that.. this is as good as it gets.. grow over the negative feelings.. and take a positive stance.. invision a brighter day, and work towards it.. everything comes at a price, only if you are willing to pay.