Looking For Gold | Stage Fright

when do we become/when

when do i become – coming

that comes – b – comes

so easily

i am lighter than air –

but this is not mine/never was –

how can i be lighter

than air

when i am her

they come and go/i know/but

still – they fit so well it

scares me/i doubt your

return/i call them

acts to make you see how

we break and return/

to beauty

beautiful

gameela

inty gameela/i say/you

so beautiful/i crash

leaving you to your

skies

suddenly/

you are not here –

why do you leave/when

did you leave/when did

i become who i am – now

do you understand –

it was always/the

o/t/h/e/r

woman/someone else's

woman/written/only

belonging for some time

to you/

being you –

but i/i am

here/always/daiman

here

we were never two

me and you

ana wa inty

always/ana wa inty

waiting for her/

luminous/new/full/circle

dayr-a

amar-a

badr-a

hiy-a

ana wa inty wa hiya

i tuck my jealousy under my arms –

five fingers tucked from fear –

fear of her/of you/fear

of watching you/be-come

a lover –

you strip bare/translucent in the

light/

noor – so weak beside you/

skin so becoming

lies waiting next to sweaters and jeans torn at knees

while she crawls into you

hiya

small – you

making room for her to grow/and i

in a corner

waiting

all the worlds a stage/but

you are not the world –

you are a sliver of

cheese/yellow with

sinful beauty/and

that which you do not know/i

know/you/always

making women out of

who/you/are

who/we/are

ana wa inty –

this is our knowing/this is

what i know –

i realize it will pass this time just like the last you were so confused confusing us all the time daiman near you waiting mistaniya for her to leave i know i do she too will leave they need room to grow to be but i don’t forget that you don’t like bees its butterflies always farashaat beautiful daiman fragile gameela but yes i do know they need room to be come and then they go and i am what remains every morning when we look in the mirror